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Forget that open-the-beer-with-your-palm trick you learned in college. Stow your Craftsman-handled cap remover. This is the YETI Tarpon Beverage Entry Tool. It’s not a bottle opener. It’s a Beverage Entry Tool. (That’s always capitalized, BTW.) And it comes with a freakin’ manual. Then again, the manufacturer calls it “the ultimate survival tool for keeping you hydrated in the field.” Of course, that assumes that you’re using that “church key” to open bottles of water. Wait.

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After about a month of raccoon garbage patrol I can safely say that the Yeti performed admirably in all respects.  Other than having to wrap it up in a trash bag when it rained, we hardly ever had to think about the Yeti — that is, until its warbling siren woke us from a dead sleep in the wee hours of the morning.

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Up-North lore says a yeti is an elusive snow Wookiee that lives in the Himalayas — you know, the Abominable Snowman.  And it’s pretty easy to lure one out into the open:  Just steal a guy’s tools out the back of his truck, and sooner or later the yeti/owner will appear, screaming his fool head off.  The guys at Trident Security Concepts want to arm you with a Yeti of your own, so you don’t have to become one.  We got our hands on one of the screaming yellow security units to find out if it could actually help keep your gear safe or not.  Guess what?  In certain situations it could.

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