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Forget that open-the-beer-with-your-palm trick you learned in college. Stow your Craftsman-handled cap remover. This is the YETI Tarpon Beverage Entry Tool. It’s not a bottle opener. It’s a Beverage Entry Tool. (That’s always capitalized, BTW.) And it comes with a freakin’ manual. Then again, the manufacturer calls it “the ultimate survival tool for keeping you hydrated in the field.” Of course, that assumes that you’re using that “church key” to open bottles of water. Wait.

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CRKT’s Eat N Tool is the perfect multi-tool for a bachelor. No more washing a spoon and a fork, no searching for a bottle opener for your beer, and no more hunting for a screwdriver to pop the top off that old can of Hershey’s coco in the back of the cupboard when you need chocolate.

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Here’s a very, well, Toolmonger way of opening a beer sent to me by a friend today and found originally on the awesome There, I Fixed It site. Once I finished yukking it up (and wondering why he didn’t just whack it carefully on a workbench), this got me thinking about other improvised tools.

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Whether you love your computer or hate it, it can definitely help you do a few good things — reading Toolmonger is one, obviously, but brewing beer is another. The brewing calculation software called BeerTools Pro can keep even a really serious beer brewer on schedule.  You can keep track of your inventory, estimate when each batch should be ready, formulate recipes, and look up guidelines for beer styles.  And the reference section archives more information about beer than most of us will ever really understand, right at your fingertips.

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Narragansett Beer

While we can all debate our favorite brand, I doubt anyone would argue that beer-thrity never comes early enough on Friday. My favourite is an ice cooled Narragansett in a bottle — the same beer Robert Shaw knocked back with Richard Dreyfus and Roy Schneider on-board the Orca in Jaws. Besides its light, drinkable demeanor, Narragansett’s most endearing quality is its low price: $5 for a 6-pack and just under $10 for a $12-pack.

See? The dealmonger’s even looking out for you in post work activities. You’re welcome.

Dealmonger Beer [Narragansett Beer]

 

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Beer preference is a highly personal thing.  Some enjoy mass-produced cheap stuff while others desire complex, rich microbrews and homebrews. But what if you’ve found a brew you like — if only it had more of the bitter bite of a strongly-hopped beer?  Randall the Enamel Animal — no, we’re not kidding — solves the problem by adding hops flavor right at the tap.

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