Forget that open-the-beer-with-your-palm trick you learned in college. Stow your Craftsman-handled cap remover. This is the YETI Tarpon Beverage Entry Tool. It’s not a bottle opener. It’s a Beverage Entry Tool. (That’s always capitalized, BTW.) And it comes with a freakin’ manual. Then again, the manufacturer calls it “the ultimate survival tool for keeping you hydrated in the field.” Of course, that assumes that you’re using that “church key” to open bottles of water. Wait.
Think I’m kidding? Check out this video, complete with a killer performance of Also sprach Zarathustra by a 12-year-old on a Casio CTK-3000.
Anyway, if you want one of these, they’re $7, and as far as I can tell they’re only available directly from the manufacturer.