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Forget that open-the-beer-with-your-palm trick you learned in college. Stow your Craftsman-handled cap remover. This is the YETI Tarpon Beverage Entry Tool. It’s not a bottle opener. It’s a Beverage Entry Tool. (That’s always capitalized, BTW.) And it comes with a freakin’ manual. Then again, the manufacturer calls it “the ultimate survival tool for keeping you hydrated in the field.” Of course, that assumes that you’re using that “church key” to open bottles of water. Wait.

Think I’m kidding? Check out this video, complete with a killer performance of Also sprach Zarathustra by a 12-year-old on a Casio CTK-3000.

Anyway, if you want one of these, they’re $7, and as far as I can tell they’re only available directly from the manufacturer.

Tarpon Beverage Entry Tool [Yeti] [via]

 

18 Responses to A Tool For Serious Drinkers

  1. Adam says:

    is it me, or does anyone else find this kinda lame?

  2. george says:

    just another “tool” to hang from my key chain and never be used. my multi tool can do all that and its already on me and payed for.

  3. rembret says:

    I want one for the name alone! “Beverage Entry Tool” +1

  4. John Seiffer says:

    First off, I love that the first beer he opened was a Shiner Boch. It’s been hard to find those since I moved out of Texas. And maybe I’m showing my age but I always thought a church key was an opener that actually cut a triangular hole in the top of the can – before they had pop tops.

    Oh well. I love the name, but I’ll never buy one-except as a gag.

  5. roger rainey says:

    I was hoping for more. I guess there are no uses for the other slots and protuberances on it. And, who can’t twist open a bottle or pop a pull tab without a tool? So this thing is just a bottle opener. Yes, I agree, lame.

    • dave says:

      Roger, I’ll tell you what’s lame: people who say stupid things like “who can’t twist open a bottle or pop a pull tab without a tool?” Beat up on those old hands long enough and hard enough and you might find out who. This old claw I’ve got left for a right hand needs all the help it can get.

  6. howie says:

    and what am I supposed to do if I want to open a bottle of wine?

  7. Gary Z says:

    This looks like a good candidate for the “what is it” sequence of the “This Old House Hour.” Then you could have lame squared!
    By the way, I just use Channel locks to open my Shiner.

  8. area_educator says:

    Why would you… it’s not a keychain sort of tool. It’s a keep by the bar tool. If you’re opening lots of bottles, the bottle wrench aspect alone would be worth $7.

  9. OhioHead says:

    A nice gimmick to have on hand to show your fishing buddies! I will have to ask my local fly fishing store to order a few of these for me as gifts for friends, etc.

    If you are not aware, YETI makes one of the most unbelievable well made (insulated, durable, etc) coolers in the business, they are cheap, but if you take care of it, it will last a long time.

  10. JC says:

    Do a Google search for “LaRue Dillo” 😉 Been out a few years at least.

  11. Thad says:

    Oh, Tarpon! Whatever that means.

    I thought it said tampon.

    The YETI Tampon Beverage Entry Tool.

  12. Jes Lookin says:

    Nice looking thing, except for wine opening and a glass cutter (in case of Emergency Opening Access). But, I guess, it looks big enough to smash its way through a bottle.

  13. RuSlick says:

    serious drinkerы can open cans and bottles by a sight 🙂

  14. mickeyrat says:

    If you cant find a way to open it,you have had tooooooooooooo much

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