Ok, so we’re a little late on this. But hey — at least you’ve got until October now, right? An awesome friend shot me a link to a post over on the Highland Woodworking blog carrying a list — actually, a really well-thought-out list — of stuff around the shop that’d help you in an apocalyptic zombie attack. (The post seems to be a response to the CDC recommendations — no, really — that prove once and for all that the CDC does indeed have a sense of humor.)
Besides tagging Festool’s contractor first aid kit as an obvious choice, they recommend the lathe skew chisel, cordless drill (w/spade bit), and cordless recip as primary anti-zombie weapons, and note that Japanese cut-off saws would work great for hand-to-hand combat. One maybe-not-so-good option, though, is a chain saw, as TM reader Dreamcatcher points out in my favorite comment so far this week:
“Sure they seem cool and you can’t make a zombie movie without one but in reality would you want to rely on a chainsaw for personal defense? They are often undependable to start on the first pull, they use fuel at a rapid pace, and while they’ll cut some flesh they don’t really cut “mushy” things all that well (ever cut a punk log?).”
Notice as well that the first comment on the Highland post suggests a Paslode framing nailer with the safety disabled for “better standoff distance.” Funny note about that: After shooting this much-maligned video to explain how the Paslode works (following the 900th time someone asked us in email), we tried like hell to get it to shoot a nail into something from any distance. We discovered two things: 1) That’s a really thorough safety, and 2) you really, really, wouldn’t want to depend on this thing for ranged defense. Just sayin’.
(Thanks, mangpages, for the great CC-licensed photo. And thanks “Vels” for the awesome heads-up on the story.)