Once the obvious reality of active camouflage is realized, I will become like the ninja of old, creeping about my everyday shop business with the stealth of a large jungle cat. You shall look upon my prism-like façade and go in fear. Until then, the best we’ve got is digital camo wrapped around an auto-darkening visor, like this new Elite auto-darkening rig from Miller.
I’ve seen both the Miller welding helmet and Spartan’s cald in the Mark VI MJOLNIR Powered Assault Armor from Halo 3 in action. Perhaps it’s time someone asked how the 21st century stacks up against the 26th century in a point-by-point comparison — and Toolmonger is that someone. Because when you need something pointless and slightly unnecessary, much like Bluto from Animal House, that someone is often us.
|MJOLNIR Powered Assault Armor/Mark VI||Miller ELITE Series Digital Camo Welding Helmet|
|Can stop small caliber weapons fire and shields eyes from nuclear flashes.||Can stop sparks from burning your face and shields eyes from arc welding.|
|Maintains atmosphere to keep you cool.||Sweat like a hog in it.|
|Comes standard with hot A.I. that helps keep you alive.||Comes standard with adjustable head band.|
|One visor darkness level: Golden badass.||Four visor darkness levels: Weld Mode – Variable Shade #8 – 13, Cut Mode – Variable Shade #5 – 8, Grind Mode – Light State #3, X-Mode – variable.|
|Comes in Space Marine Green with optional alien technology that renders wearer almost completely invisible for 30 seconds.||Comes in US Army digital camo pattern that renders wearer in 8 bits.|
All right, so after the comparison we’ve tallied the results and the Mark VI clearly whips the living crap out of the Miller Elite. It’s not even close when talking feature lists.
However, as with many such comparisons, price was not a factor in our test as the Miller Elite costs about $290 and the Mark VI would run you somewhere between 50k and the gross national product of the western hemisphere — give or take. The Miller is also available now and the MarkVI has a 500-year waiting list and this tends to bring things into focus. We suppose it’s a start anyway.