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At the Bosch 2010 Global Leadership Tour yesterday, we found the answer to several questions that have plagued the industry for years. One, can a bunch of tool writers build and decorate a bean-bag toss set in under two hours? And the other — do the judges of the build at Bosch understand fundamental laws of the universe?

It would seem that the answer to the first of the questions is yes. Ten teams completed ten bean-bag toss sets in the allotted time and, in most cases, they did indeed come out looking like the specified design. We of course were given tons of Bosch tools to build with, and though our team was one man short of four — our Bosch rep, my homie Clint from ProTool Review, and myself — we constructed our work of excellence without issue in the allotted time.

Here comes the great tragedy of the event. Clearly Clint and I knew the fundamental design laws of the cosmos. We correctly determined that flames make anything better by measures of magnitude; flames are the very essence of good design. Everyone knows this. Everyone, that is, except the Bosch judges. When first place for decoration was awarded, the cruel and harsh mistress that is the ignorance of good sense struck us down. Another less-worthy design won the day. It’s a damn shame. The loss will eat at our hearts for the rest of our days.

The devastating blow will be comforted by the fact that I won the raffle to have them sent home and am going to do the right thing here when it arrives back at the shop. Not Russian-ice-skater-right thing but the right thing according to the Toolmonger rules. Yes, my friends: It will involve fire.

Another consolation is that in the bean-bag toss competition afterward, Toolmonger team members took both first and second place — proving that in the clutch, your TM team is slightly less awful at tossing a bean-bag than some other tool guys, and that is something — maybe.

 

19 Responses to Editorial: Victory And Defeat At Bosch

  1. ToolGuyd says:

    That’s a shame, but at least the flames look great. I love the fill and inverted flame switchoff.

  2. george says:

    no wonder you lost. flames are supposed to be red and orange, jeeeeez.

  3. Firemarshal Bill says:

    George, not all flames are red. As a career firefighter and fire investigator I have witnessed and investigated fires caused by most of the forms of combustion known to man. If for example, a person is in a firehouse bunk room, attempted to ignite certain gaseous rectal emanations, you would find that the resulting flame is very bluish. Ask me how I know…..

  4. kyle says:

    Well Firemarshal Bill, how do you know?

  5. Shalin says:

    Rock on then TM! Let us know when the Tool Blog Beanbag Toss Playoffs are! 😉

  6. Sal says:

    Happy to report that I was on Team Domination and took the prize for best design with our routed edges, mitered corners, folding legs, and stretcher.

  7. FredB says:

    Artists suffer for their art.

  8. Pete D says:

    We call this game corn hole in Cincinnati. It is a great source of local pride and general snickering….

  9. Chuck Cage says:

    I’d just like to point out that my team smoked both Sal’s team and Sean’s team when it came to actually playing the game. Sure, the Bosch folks didn’t see our judge-pandering blue-logo’d box as “retail ready” enough for the big prize, but I’ll say this: The Bosch engineer on our team could really throw a bag.

  10. Marc says:

    Rather than make excuses for my own poor performance at the event, I’ll just point out the obvious: we were all severely handicapped by a lack of beer at the competition. And I think we all know how dangerous sober judging can be too. Participation, and, in particular, spectating could have been a whole different scene. Thankfully we made up for it at the lounge later that night. Great meeting you guys. Look me up when you head out to San Diego!

  11. SCWetherbee says:

    Instead of burning it, why don’t you autograph it and send it to me? (or some other lucky prize winner I suppose)

  12. Sean O'Hara says:

    @Sal: Yes, but did it have flames? EH? EH?

    @Marc: Too true sir, too true. I know the inclusion of beer would have added at least 10 points a game to my bean-bag score as well as the addition of a hover feature and forward mounted machine guns to the rig itself. But alas we’ll never know.

  13. Rob says:

    Sorry I missed the chance to catch up with you guys, the activities and to finally meet some great guys.

  14. Hal says:

    I am still pissed we didn’t win. However the ADA has asked to use our design for a quick build ADA ramp able to withstand F3 tornadoes. I was thinking of taking our “Corn Hole” game and turning it into a fish cleaning station to mount onto the back of our pick up truck. We can use the hole to direct fish guts and heads onto the boat launches of our favorite marina.
    I am beginning to question our choosing to use dove-tail joinery on a game that usually involves lots of beer and throwing beans. I guess it must be a Midwestern thing. As always enjoyed seeing you guys and look forward to our next get together.

  15. Clint says:

    I’m telling you – the sheer presence of flames on our rig should have taken the entire contest by storm. Chamfered edges and folding legs… pft… how can that possibly compare to blue flame (which incidentally, GEORGE, is hotter than red flame! 🙂

    At least we came in second place with dignity – and I didn’t mind losing to Sal and crew…

  16. TommyP says:

    Well, at least you got a mention over at the PM website – “One target incorporated gnarly custom white- and blue-painted flames”.

    http://www.popularmechanics.com/home/reviews/power-tools/bosch-glide-miter-saw-review

  17. M__ says:

    2nd on Cornhole. Also, in Cincinnati they make chili with chocolate, and put it on spaghetti!

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