jump to example.com

It’s good to know that the next time Sean has a mishap that super glue won’t fix, he can pop out to the shop and turn a block of wood (red oak, rattan, and sipo apparently work best) into an artificial bone. Of course, first you have to carbonize it, spray it with calcium to create calcium carbide, convert the calcium carbide into carbonated hydroxyapatite, and then implant the artificial bone (surgical glue optional; square drive screws preferred). The process can take a week, and cost approximately $850 for one block — but hey, nobody said this was going to be easy.

Now if we can just get past all the innuendos, euphemisms, and snide remarks (including subtleties like “The researchers also note that they can create virtually any size or shape”), we might have an interesting TM post here.

Artificial Bone at Discovery.com [Web Site]

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5 Responses to Artificial Bone Made of Wood

  1. flarney says:

    I read somewhere that poplar is about as dense and strong as human bone. Told a martial arts buddy about it so now he practices his bone breaking blows on poplar sticks he’s cut to roughly human bone thickness. I told him just to carry a gun but that’s just me.

  2. russ says:

    Actually today there are stents today which have metal are coated with a drug so there won’t be tissue growth, thus plugging up the stent. I would think they could do the opposite for the titanium. Of course that would increase the total cost. Having said that, it gives another meaning, at least another verse or two, to ZZ Top’s “I woke up with Wood”. Sorry Gordon, I just couldn’t help it.

  3. Bob says:

    Got wood?

  4. bob says:

    I’m bob, not you.

  5. Sean says:

    Now it we could only figure a DIY technique to encase poplar in “adamantium” we could all be superheros!

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