Toolmongers know that tools don’t always perform the way we want ’em to. Similar to Ambrose Bierce’s Devil’s Dictionary, “What a Mechanic’s Tools Do” tells the truth about what really happens with some common tools. Here are a couple of examples:
ELECTRIC HAND DRILL: Normally used for spinning steel pop rivets in their holes until you die of old age.
VISE-GRIPS: Used to round off bolt heads. If nothing else is available, they can also be used to transfer intense welding heat to the palm of your hand.
These definitions got a few chuckles out of me, but I’d really like to hear Toolmongers’ takes on common tools. What definitions would you give? Tell us in comments.