Reader Frank Townend posted this awesome modification to the Night Before Christmas poem on our Merry Christmas post. I laughed so hard, I nearly cried.
THE NIGHT BEFORE CHRISTMAS
apologies to Clement Clarke Moore
‘Twas Christmas at Toolmonger, when all through the blog
Not a creature was building, not even a dog couch;
The tools were hung in the workshop with care,
In hopes that a craftsman soon would be there;
The boards were stacked all snug on their rails,
Had visions of hammers dancing with nails;
And dressed in my shop apron, and safe in my gloves,
Had just settled down for a late evening’s task,
When up on the screen, the RSS rose such a clatter,
I sprang from the workshop to see what was the matter.
Away to my Windows I flew like a flash,
Tore open the shutters and threw up the sash.
Which added each to the “to-do” list and “get-to” cache.
Clicked on my favorites, hoped the URL wouldn’t crash,
When, what to my wondering eyes should appear,
But a Christmas greeting in the form of a post.
Words about time off, words about family,
But words without bargains, and no mention of loose cash.
I searched the listings, none younger than a day,
And I whistled, and shouted, and called them by name;
“Now, Stanley! now, Duluth! now, Garrett Wade Tools!
On, Home Depot! on Lowe’s! on, Grizzly and Lee Valley too!
To the top of the Web page! to the top of the Hot Five!
Now cash away! cash away! cash away all!”
As Parts Express supplies us much better than the Shack,
When we meet with an obstacle, no trouble do we lack,
So on to my workbench, my projects they flew,
With a pile of One Beer Projects, my time was thus due.
… more next year…
Merry Christmas All!
Hats off and eggnog up to Frank and his quick-witted effort this holiday season. If that doesn’t deserve a pair of gloves, I don’t know what does. Thanks to Frank and to Toolmongers everywhere for making this a great year!
Merry Christmas Post [Toolmonger]