Drifters like to think they’re on the fringe of the Mainstream, fighting to stick it to the man and legitimize their sport. These folks who can rip around a corner sideways in their Honda Civics, we’d like to see ‘em try their hand at negotiating this bruiser through a turn.

It’s not the same, of course, but just wait. A short time from now you’re going to start seeing timed tractor-drifting events — and then, quietly, a league will pop up and rednecks will be getting sponsorship deals.

Redneck Tractor Drifting [YouTube]

While we like to think of ourselves as open-minded here at Toolmonger, we’re not exactly burning with desire to sit through a ballet recital — unless that recital is danced by a few heavy-equipment operators under the direction of Anne Troake, a unique lady with an eye for graceful movement.

Any construction site vet will tell you that these guys have the same control over these heavy machines that Olympic athletes have over their own bodies — but the common passerby will probably never know what artistry goes into this seemingly brutish gig.

Beauty can be found everywhere, even in a pit surrounded by hulking machines.

Big Machines Dancing (Ballet Excavators) [YouTube]

Take a look at this, proof that Toolmongers the world over trust their tools. These guys are getting it done with what they’ve got — and whoever’s working the Cat either knows his stuff inside and out or is destined to have some problems with his hydraulics sometime very soon.

It may seem wrong, but if they have to move the rock I don’t see anything else around there big enough to get it done, so who’s to say what’s the right or wrong way.  In any event it’s sweet to see it lift its own rear end.

Amazing Caterpillar [YouTube]

Here’s Toolmonger’s own Nick Carter and his able assistant Henry assembling a flat-pack entertainment center. Though Henry may not be quite ready to undertake a larger project like this by himself, we applaud Nick for getting the next generation of tool guys stoked about building.

As you can see, young Henry’s already learning to use the right tool for the right job. That’s a talking Bob the Builder hammer he’s got there to pound in the cams. Nick himself admits it wasn’t a bad choice, as it has a soft face.

Toolmonger Photo Pool [Flickr]

I take it all back. Monster trucks, school buses, dump trucks:  racing these is nothing. It’s all nothing compared to the sport of kings, kings like the monster tanks. I think I actually shed a tear watching this video — ah, the sweet harmony of monster trucks and track drives.

It’s all there:  the carnage, the delight, and the all-out tank-tracked fun.  Oh yes, it will be mine. One day all shall flee before Abramszilla. Flee before me and fear.

We now return you to your regularly scheduled Toolmonger programming.

Battle of the Monster Tanks [YouTube]

Forget all the rest of those racing leagues — if I ever had the money, dump truck drag racing would totally be my game. In a perfect world, the drag event would have to be followed closely by dump truck hauling contests and, to cap off the evening, dump truck derby.

Ok, so it’s not going to be for everyone, but had I the means and the space for it, you’d see it going on every Friday night — oh yes, fun for the whole family indeed. BYOB.

Dump Truck Drags [YouTube]

Creative snow removal has long been a hobby of inventors and marketers up North, much like home-built AC products are down South. When the weather’s making life uncomfortable or dangerous, folks start thinking of better ways to stay out of it, and that kind of thinking brought the I-Shovel into the world.

Ok, so the iRobot guys aren’t releasing it next year, and the first good-sized rock frozen to the ground would probably halt it in its frosty tracks –- but who cares?  At least the creator is having a good time and not out in the cold, sweeping snow.

I-Shovel [YouTube]

Reader Eric forwarded this find from Boing Boing gadgets. For anyone who’s been living in a bomb shelter for the last year, this is Wall-E. Wall-E makes everything he touches better. Be it the Earth or another person’s life, Wall-E can make it better because he tries hard and actually cares. That’s why I think folks are willing to put this much time into making an uber-badass wooden likeness of him — he does save mankind after all.

Story aside, the sculpture is a masterful expression of woodcrafting, even if it was done by a prototyping studio. Take a look at those tracks and gear reliefs — you can plainly see someone put a bunch of effort into it.

Wooden Wall-E [Boing Boing]

If the Polar Express ever got stuck, they’d have to send this rig to go get it.  There’s just something cool about a snowblower hooked up to a train that makes me want to live further north.

Then again, this choo-choo isn’t for show.  It’s a hardworking train with some serious work ahead of it, and I’m a big sissy when it comes to shoveling snow.  Even with that straight in my mind, I think I’d still get in line to run this thing into a few snow banks.

Serious Snow Removal [YouTube]

This is either a badass excavator lifting itself up a specially designed tower, or a masterful Photoshop job.  I’m guessing it was a publicity stunt and someone was actually crazy enough to do this — though I can’t imagine wanting to stand around while it perched on top of the tower and balanced on the arm.

I hope this thing was piloted by remote and no one was actually strapped in the thing, especially for that last photo.  Then again, companies have done crazier things in the name of marketing than dangling a multi-ton piece of equipment from its hydraulic arm.

Pumping Iron [Funpic]

After stumbling across this awesome wood puzzle last week, I can honestly say this picture doesn’t do it justice.  Also, it’s a little embarrassing trying to put this thing back together after taking it apart to see how it works — so if you’re not blessed with a warped puzzle brain, you might not want to disassemble the puzzle in the store.

It might be more than you can handle, but I love the puzzle pieces, which are super smooth on every surface of every piece — even if reassembling them is beyond my patience level on the best of days.

Street Pricing [Google]

If you’ve ever watched MTV’s Cribs, maybe you saw some rock star’s regulation basketball court, or a pool the size of a small house with a waterfall, and thought, “I want that someday.”  For me it would be something like this yard-sized chess set — this style I can get behind.

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Tanks and woodworking don’t really go together for most folks, but to me they’re like chocolate and peanut butter.  I found this toy coin bank at Time Machine Toys.  It’s made up to look like what I’m guessing is a British Mark IV Male WWI-era tank –- and it brought a smile to my face.

True, it may sport a few too many guns, but that just adds to the overall charm of the thing.  The metalwork tracks are sweet, and judging from the condition of the finish, someone took care of this toy over the years and never mistreated it.

I definitely see something like this in my future toy-making plans.

Wooden Toy Coin Bank [Time Machine Toys]

When it comes to crowd control, you can turn to a lot of different tools; for instance, you can command a crowd’s attention by waving around a running chainsaw.  But if you want to avoid restraining orders and news coverage you could try a more socially acceptable tool called the Powerwalk — think George Jetson.

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I know it’s evil to talk about Xmas this early, but this Amaze-N-Marbles game reminds me of when I was a kid.  By arranging the series of wooden tracks and chutes correctly, my brother and I could make the marble travel quite a distance down these little guides.  This stuff was pure awesomeness, both simple and fun — and it actually required thinking and imagination, which I find sadly lacking in children’s toys today.

Sadly, Mom was constantly having to confiscate our old set.  Brothers being brothers, we took the first chance available after a failed run to beat each other with the blocks and sling the marbles at each other.  That would end our marble-running for a few weeks at a time.

This set costs around $25 for an entire bag of them.  Of course, the tricky craftsmen could make their own sets for less, if they were willing to spend the time.

Amaze-N-Marbles [Duluth]
Street Pricing [Google Products]
Via Amazon [What’s This?]

Longtime reader Simple Simon sent us this great shot of the Hamilton Warplane Heritage Museum.  In addition to a sweet view of an old Hurricane, we also get a glimpse of some of the tools it takes to keep a place like that going.

It’s a full-time gig, getting those bad boys in-shape enough to be presentable, and the staff takes a by-whatever-means-necessary approach.  Even though Veteran’s Day is over, we must give a hearty hats-off and beers-up to the ones who used to fly these warplanes — and also to the ones who remind us all what they did and why.

Toolmonger Photo Pool [Flickr]

Art comes in many forms, and we’re not so stuck up we can’t appreciate it either.  Take this photo of a show a few years ago at the Cleveland Institute of Art — Beth Whalley’s Drill Cozy caught our eye for some reason.

Sure, “Drill Cozy” probably won’t arrive at the Louvre anytime soon, but it gives us a chuckle and puts power tools in front of art folks, and that’s got to be worth something.  A belated hats-off to Beth for her fine use of imagination.

Cleveland Institute of Art [Website]