Linesman’s Pliers: an electrician’s hammer. Used to check for live wires by gripping wire then contacting grounded panel box.

Yep. I have a Craftsman drill at home from the 1970s that fits this description pretty much exactly. Always hated getting out a giant extension cord to do work with it on the workbench, though. Does anyone make a four-foot heavy-duty extension cord?

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2) Electric drill (corded) - why bother manufacturing it with that 3 - 4 ft cord? might as well make it only3 - 4 inches than we don’t have to worry about rolling it up when done . your gonna put an extension cord on it anyhow cause your work is never that close to a power source.

3) Slotted screwdriver - ummmm actually I mean prying tool…or do I mean palm stabber??

### piece tool set - Each useful tool is only used once, at which point it runs off with one glove and/or one sock. Set to be henceforth referred to as ‘door stop’.

Stud Finder - Perpetuator of a myth; studs do not exist. To prove this, simply drill a hole where it says it found one.

‘The right tool for the job’ - You don’t own this, so you use something else, which takes three times as long, requires three times as many bandages, and looks like hell. Bought only after ‘making do’, so you’ll be ready for the next time. This will never occur.

Screwchisel - Similar to a screwdriver with top of handle having been modified by striking it with a hammer while using the screwchisel like the unused chisel hanging on the pegboard in the basement workshop all the way back at the house.

Tool Belt: A series of pockets attached to a piece of webbing designed to catch the debris and sawdust from the construction process. Also designed to hold drywall screws in a vertical, tip up, position.

Spark Plug Socket: A tube of steel with a rubber grommet designed to fit snugly over a spark plug and detach from the excessively long extension required to insert it into the plug well.

Scissor Jack: A type jack designed to neatly remove the bits of skin from the tops of knuckles when used properly on asphalt.

Lug Wrench: A tool designed to fit on a lug nut and be jumped on similiar to a spring board.

A tools who’s primary function consists of forcibly compressing that little bit of skin between your thumb and index finger, thereby ridding the body of excess blood and pent up swear words.

Garden/Yard Tools - See toolbox, see toolbox sit, see toolbox rust in back yard because child of said toolbox owner left it outside after misusing tools.

Hammer - Useful for smashing thumbnails.

Tool - A critical piece of equipment which typically provides a mechanical advantage in accomplishing a physical task. Typically purchased one week before a major sale on such tool.

TAILGATE - Rear portion of a pickup truck. Folds down to form a convenient platform for dropping expensive items to the ground.

MIG WELDER - Handy, high-powered electrical device for making miniature imitations of dog doo piles on steel, and for blowing holes in otherwise perfectly smooth sheet metal.

1/2″-DRIVE RATCHET WRENCH - Hand-held device useful as a hammer to hit combination wrenches on stuck nuts and bolts. Also useful to facilitate swear-word generation when an interfering object unexpectedly flips the direction lever.

And the old favorite:
Phillips Screwdriver
Vodka, Orange Juice and Milk of Magnesia